Divert! Distract!

So you find yourself acting in a way that isn’t true to your authentic self and you’ve realized that you are acting this way out of a sense of loyalty, duty, love or necessity. OK. Now what do you do? You know that you’re not being true to yourself, but you also know that you are doing what you feel you need to do.

Just being aware of these contradictions is the first step in healing. You see the problem and are aware of it. Your brain is now working on new thought patterns to handle the challenge. In the meantime…divert! For 15 minutes, divert or distract the thought that you have to do things this way by doing something that you enjoy. Maté suggests that 15 minutes of distraction from the negative thought is enough to teach your brain that it doesn’t have to continually repeat that tired old thought. It offers the possibility that there are other ways of living.  

When do you find yourself thinking you have to do things in a certain way, but you would really rather be doing something else? Can you distract yourself from the thought that you have to do things this way because you have to be strong? You have to be helpful? You have to be ….. (fill in the blank)? What can you do, instead, for 15 minutes that speaks to your authentic soul?

Here’s an example from my own life: I have to do housework. I dislike the endless cycle of cleaning, day after day, but I think I have to do it because I have to keep my family’s house clean, or I wouldn’t be a good wife and mother.

When I analyze that thought, I realize that I think I need to be a good wife and mother to have value as a person. Good wife and mother = valuable person.

I distract myself from my thought that I’m not a good wife and mother/valuable person if I don’t keep a clean house by blasting rock music at top volume for 15 minutes. That doesn’t clean my house for me, or reassure me that I’m valuable as a slob, but it gives me a short and welcome break from the self-limiting thought that my worth is equated with my house’s cleanliness.

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