Acceptance

The fourth healing principle is acceptance. This is a tricky one because it doesn’t mean a lot of things we normally think of when we hear the word “acceptance.” Acceptance, according to Gabor Maté, means letting things be just the way they are in this moment. It means sitting with the truth of our (shitty) situation because we understand that things cannot be any different than the way they are now. It means being present in the moment. Side Note: Ekhart Tolle explores the concept of ‘being present’ beautifully in his book “The Power of Now.” Acceptance also means acknowledging that negative emotions like anger, grief, even hatred are part of our experience; part of what makes us who we are.

Acceptance, however, doesn’t mean being resigned or complacent, as in shrugging your shoulders and saying, “it is what it is.” (I’m personally guilty of this one and am quite shocked to find out it isn’t acceptance.)

Acceptance encompasses and makes room for the other three healing principles. It legitimizes our healthy, boundary setting anger, confirms the control and choice that come with our agency and validates of our authenticity.

Acceptance shouts, “I am who I am today!”